faces of me

There's something about change that I love and then again hate. I love it when you're totally fed up with something and then the fresh breeze of change comes and lifts you up like a leaf in autumn. But when you've just learned or got used to something and then everything changes, it sucks.

I'm always keen on getting to know new people. But I might also get bored and then I want some new people in my life again. It's confusing.

Four pics and things about me.

1. I can be really funny when I'm around people I love and who I'm close to. Like with my sis I can be totally crazy and she doesn't mind. That's why I love her. Like once in the evening we were in a train and I was singing (not that loud). I asked her if it bothers her or if she feels embarrased, but no she just said that she's used to it and it's fine.

2. If I spend too much time alone I can get really jealous of people whose lives I'd like to have. It can make me feel so sick and I'm quite easy to get jealous. It can make me avoid something to the last bit or make me torture myself by doing what I don't want to. Like loosing a friendship has till now been the hardest thing for me. When I lost a friend of mine this year I kept seeing dreams of the person and smelling the perfume of the friend I lost, in my dream!

3. When I trust someone it's the best. One day I was feeling so down and I was meeting with my friend. When I saw her I just ran to hug her and I felt so home and safe. That's the kind of people you should keep close no matter what and never let go.

4. I get days when I hate my style and the way I look. Everybody has that. But like after going shopping and having got to look in the mirror, it can just get to me that I realize how ugly I am. Going to a shop and trying on clothes that are amazing and seeing that you look like an idiot in them 'cos they just don't fit. Nothing ever fits. I might feel like ripping off my skin. And feeling like I hate my style, all of my clothes that I'm going to a wrong direction or mainstream can make me feel like I wanna puke.

5. And not to end this thing with a bad taste in your mouth, I can say that there are days when I feel comfortable with myself. That I'm fine the way I am even if I hate some parts of me. I love my style and my personality and so on. Just gotta love those kinda days.